Consequences of Unemployment

I'm bored and decided to update this blog. I spent the past weekend alone and cooped up in front of my laptop on an air mattress. The landlords left for vacation, so I have the house to myself. The time I spent away from blogging has been nice. Instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, I just blocked out the employment issue from my mind. But now that summer is more than halfway over, I should get back to the problem at hand.

But first: unemployment is so lonely and isolating. I feel like it ruined parts of my life that had once been promising, if not perfect. Everything feels so foreign and out of place now that I sometimes feel like I'm dreaming (and not in a good way).

1. Social Life
 After moving back with my parents, I was hundreds of miles away from most of my friends. And thus, my social life came to a screeching halt. Not that it was great before--it has been withering since I graduated from college early. But the several months before I graduated from college were utterly amazing. I had several best/close friends at that point, and there was always something fun to do. Unfortunately, I decided to not keep in contact with most of my friends after graduation because I was ashamed about still being unemployed. I figured I would get a job, move back, and everything will go back to being good again. That was over a year ago. Sigh. Now that I've moved out of my parents' house to take on an internship in the middle of nowhere, I have absolutely no one to talk to outside of my internship hours. And I have nothing in common with my college friends anymore. They have all moved on to fancy jobs and the real world. Meanwhile, I'm stuck in unemployment-limbo and have decided that self-imposed isolation is preferable to facing feelings of regret and shame.

2. Family
My parents sometimes treat me like I'm a good-for-nothing freeloader. They are really embarrassed by my being unemployed, so I don't bother going anywhere in public with them. We used to get along, but this unemployment problem has ruined whatever semblance of a relationship we had. My parents are pretty temperamental, and I'll never forgive them for the various insults they've hurled at me over the past several months. And this is all because I couldn't find a job.

3. Financially
The transition from being a broke college student to a broke, unemployed college graduate isn't too bad. I dread thinking about the future though. Whenever I try to plan ahead, I am haunted by fears of long-term unemployment. What if I'm doomed to be broke for life? Right now, the future looks like this: no job, no income, no car, no house, nothing.


I feel so unmotivated to go into my internship place every morning because it just further reminds me that I don't have a "real" job. And not just any "real" job, but a good job that I would like. But alas, beggars can't be choosers. In this economy, beggars get nothing to choose from at all.


What next?

I have no clue what I want to be, what I hope to accomplish in life, where I see myself in the future, where I see myself in ten years, or anything along those lines. I'm sick of answering those types of questions. What I really want is this: a job, a source of income (a.k.a. a job).

That said, I need to decide what to do once my internship ends. Here are my options:

A. Continue looking for a job. 'Cause that has obviously worked out wonderfully for me! Granted, I've mostly given up lately. It might not be a bad idea to spam job boards with hundreds of applications again. This probably won't lead anywhere though. Sadly, no one on those job sites are seeking entry-level candidates with no full-time work experience. Hahaha.

B. Apply to grad school. Grad school can certainly open up doors, especially for the never-employed like me who have no doors to begin with. Cost: $40-50k!, not including living expenses and books. I hate the idea of taking on so much debt, and possibly still ending up unemployed. Another concern: what if I fail? I've heard so many things about how difficult grading in grad school can be. If I end up with a low GPA in grad school, I'll probably be permanently unemployed. In addition, it will take a whole year before I can attend grad school, assuming I start preparing my application materials right away. I would need to study for the GRE/GMAT, and then actually do well on it. This alone could take months.

I think I want to go to grad school for accounting, even though I have no experience in accounting. Isn't it supposed to be recession-proof? Or at least as recession-proof as most industries these days. This sounds like it could be a mistake, but once upon a time I was actually good at math. Also, I had taken two introductory accounting classes in college, one of which I found confusing, difficult, and boring (B+ as my final grade, after a very generous curve). I had left the final exam room for that class feeling nauseous and worried that I had failed (final exam grade: 73%). My second accounting course was a relatively interesting one in which all the material made a lot of sense to me (A as my final grade). Both were equally quantitative, surprisingly.

C. Continue taking classes. This might be the most reasonable option. I have been taking classes for the past few months. If I continue, I can complete a graduate degree within a year. Unfortunately, this degree would only prepare me for a government job (if they are still hiring by the time I graduate). Also, I find the major to be very boring. Continuing with the classes is going to cost a decent amount of money too. But if I don't take any more classes, I would never have the chance to get this degree again.


So, what do you think?

I can't decide between A, B, or C. Grad school seems promising, but only if I ace everything and land my dream entry-level job right after graduation. Everything is so uninteresting. Classes, job-hunting, interning, temping, working--it's all tedious and boring.