Good thing I worked 11 hours at the office yesterday, or I might have just been fired for what happened.
Normally, when I say I'm "late", I mean I walk into the office around 9:15am. Not a big deal, especially since I work until 7pm every single day. Today I was very, very late. Traffic/commute took an unprecedented, unbelievable 2.25 hours. 2.25 hours for a one-way, morning commute!!! I could have biked the 20-something miles and gotten there faster.
While sitting in the car, I contemplated how much I hated life because of this ridiculous commute on top of already ridiculous hours. My soul is slowly dying. Death by Corporate America, fun stuff.
I seriously was about to have a complete mental breakdown/meltdown in the car. Currently: 30+ unread emails in my Outlook Inbox. I hate Outlook and Excel and life. Maybe unemployment/food stamps/homelessness wouldn't be as bad.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
How is it only Tuesday??
Minor Complaint: The office is usually freezing, even when it's 95 degrees outside. Today, the heat was turned on and it was really hot. Too bad I was dressed for the cold office.
I always emails things over for approval before sending them out to the client, just to cover myself in case anything goes wrong. It seems to be not helping, because most people are too busy to go over the document with a microscope, so there's bound to be issues eventually. I guess this is one of those "all in a day's work" type of things. No point wasting more time dwelling on it.
On a positive note, today there was barely any traffic! My commute to work only took 50 minutes. 50 minutes!!
My body is so tired of the long days. SO. EXHAUSTED. My back hurts from sitting in the same exact position all day. My eyeballs feel like they're about to dry up and fall out of their sockets from staring at the computer morning to night. That's it; I'm definitely going back to school eventually. Hopefully, I will get in somewhere nearby and eventually be able to find a passion/career.
Again, everything about this job would be fine if I only liked what I'm doing. The environment, people, etc. are good.
I always emails things over for approval before sending them out to the client, just to cover myself in case anything goes wrong. It seems to be not helping, because most people are too busy to go over the document with a microscope, so there's bound to be issues eventually. I guess this is one of those "all in a day's work" type of things. No point wasting more time dwelling on it.
On a positive note, today there was barely any traffic! My commute to work only took 50 minutes. 50 minutes!!
My body is so tired of the long days. SO. EXHAUSTED. My back hurts from sitting in the same exact position all day. My eyeballs feel like they're about to dry up and fall out of their sockets from staring at the computer morning to night. That's it; I'm definitely going back to school eventually. Hopefully, I will get in somewhere nearby and eventually be able to find a passion/career.
Again, everything about this job would be fine if I only liked what I'm doing. The environment, people, etc. are good.
Monday, October 4, 2010
At what point do you decide a job is just not right for you?
Another Monday. Must get used to things going wrong, because that's what work is all about.
So I had asked someone how to change something in our system and was told an incorrect procedure. Just to be safe, we decided to email headquarters to notify them of the change. Today, headquarters has come back saying that I had failed to notify them of the change because I didn't follow the correct procedure. I don't know if my email had gone ignored, or someone decided to pretend to ignore it so it'll look like they had "caught" my error. YAY!
Of course, each time the you've-screwed-up email is CC'd to a bunch of superiors. I guess I'll just constantly have to take the fall despite whatever I'm told or taught!!
I like this company and the people, but...... I'm not a good fit for the position and I want out.
So I had asked someone how to change something in our system and was told an incorrect procedure. Just to be safe, we decided to email headquarters to notify them of the change. Today, headquarters has come back saying that I had failed to notify them of the change because I didn't follow the correct procedure. I don't know if my email had gone ignored, or someone decided to pretend to ignore it so it'll look like they had "caught" my error. YAY!
Of course, each time the you've-screwed-up email is CC'd to a bunch of superiors. I guess I'll just constantly have to take the fall despite whatever I'm told or taught!!
I like this company and the people, but...... I'm not a good fit for the position and I want out.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Terrible Traffic Ticket Tuesday
Late to work again! However, the company's employee manual officially says that 9:30 is the latest you can show up, so technically...
Sigh. I got waved over for a traffic ticket this morning. The police literally stepped in front of my car and waved me aside because we were stuck at a standstill. What happened was this: all of the cars were merrily inching along as I passed through an intersection. Suddenly, the car in front of me stopped. I inched forward as much as possible and checked to make sure I wasn't stuck in the intersection. I looked back and the three cars behind me were all parked in the intersection. I figured I was safe because most of my car was out of the intersection, and I wasn't blocking any traffic. Then, I spotted two policmen staring at me intently from the side of the road. Maybe one of my lights had gone out? They walked into the middle of the jammed traffic and waved for me and the three cars behind me to pull aside. There seemed to be a moment of disagreement between them as to whether I needed to pull over or not. In the end, all three or four of us got ticketed. Wait, when had the light turned red??
This is my 4th or 5th FML moment over the past 2.5 weeks.
I really need to move to New York (City) so I'll never have to drive again.
Sigh. I got waved over for a traffic ticket this morning. The police literally stepped in front of my car and waved me aside because we were stuck at a standstill. What happened was this: all of the cars were merrily inching along as I passed through an intersection. Suddenly, the car in front of me stopped. I inched forward as much as possible and checked to make sure I wasn't stuck in the intersection. I looked back and the three cars behind me were all parked in the intersection. I figured I was safe because most of my car was out of the intersection, and I wasn't blocking any traffic. Then, I spotted two policmen staring at me intently from the side of the road. Maybe one of my lights had gone out? They walked into the middle of the jammed traffic and waved for me and the three cars behind me to pull aside. There seemed to be a moment of disagreement between them as to whether I needed to pull over or not. In the end, all three or four of us got ticketed. Wait, when had the light turned red??
This is my 4th or 5th FML moment over the past 2.5 weeks.
I really need to move to New York (City) so I'll never have to drive again.
Monday, September 27, 2010
I Hate Mondays!
And not just because it's Monday. The past two weeks have been bad. If you recall, last Monday I got into my first ever fender-bender. It took the rest of the week to get that relatively sorted out.
Today (another Monday) it rained. Just to ensure I'd get to work on time, I left the house 20 minutes earlier than usual. However, I ended up being 10 minutes late. My commute turned out to be 1 hour and 30 minutes, up from the usual 1 hour!! It was frustrating.
Anyway, I open up Outlook and there are a bunch of new emails (no surprise there). One email is from the international headquarters saying I did something wrong and a client's order didn't get processed properly. I double-check. Wait... I did exactly as I had been taught/told. I even have the notes from multiple days to prove it. This is why it really sucks to be the intern or the newbie. You always go out of your way to follow directions exactly--double-checking your work, even triple-checking, and then someone else comes along and tells you that you've screwed up. It sucks. *See latest update below.*
I'm pretty sure I work more than both of my parents at their respective full-time jobs. I spend more than 12 hours a day going to work, working, eating lunch at my desk while working, and driving home from work. Oh, and my parents want to take my entire life savings to buy a house that we can't afford.
End of rant. (For now, at least.)
*Update:* Apparently, now my notes on the exact same procedure from two different days were WRONG. I definitely wrote down everything I heard and even asked questions to clarify this. The problem is that most people are usually too busy to pay attention when the intern/newbie asks a question and just brush it aside with a "Yeah, 'kay."
And then when you do exactly as they say, and an issue arises, they inform you: "The next time you don't understand something, please ask me." (I'm mixing/combining all of my internship/work experiences when I say this.)
I want to retire. NOW. At the ripe old age of 21.
Today (another Monday) it rained. Just to ensure I'd get to work on time, I left the house 20 minutes earlier than usual. However, I ended up being 10 minutes late. My commute turned out to be 1 hour and 30 minutes, up from the usual 1 hour!! It was frustrating.
Anyway, I open up Outlook and there are a bunch of new emails (no surprise there). One email is from the international headquarters saying I did something wrong and a client's order didn't get processed properly. I double-check. Wait... I did exactly as I had been taught/told. I even have the notes from multiple days to prove it. This is why it really sucks to be the intern or the newbie. You always go out of your way to follow directions exactly--double-checking your work, even triple-checking, and then someone else comes along and tells you that you've screwed up. It sucks. *See latest update below.*
I'm pretty sure I work more than both of my parents at their respective full-time jobs. I spend more than 12 hours a day going to work, working, eating lunch at my desk while working, and driving home from work. Oh, and my parents want to take my entire life savings to buy a house that we can't afford.
End of rant. (For now, at least.)
*Update:* Apparently, now my notes on the exact same procedure from two different days were WRONG. I definitely wrote down everything I heard and even asked questions to clarify this. The problem is that most people are usually too busy to pay attention when the intern/newbie asks a question and just brush it aside with a "Yeah, 'kay."
And then when you do exactly as they say, and an issue arises, they inform you: "The next time you don't understand something, please ask me." (I'm mixing/combining all of my internship/work experiences when I say this.)
I want to retire. NOW. At the ripe old age of 21.
Friday, September 24, 2010
"Happy" Hour?
Happy hour after work. I didn't really want to go out drinking, but I knew I should show up anyway. It started off awkward because I was trying to avoid ordering anything with alcohol in it. I had a long drive home to look forward to and didn't want to risk another driving infraction in the same week. After I spent 5 minutes closely examining the menu, a coworker reassured me that the drinks were very watered down. I found it weird seeing the alcohol loosen up coworkers. And then once the alcohol is served, everyone has to take turns sharing funny stories--mostly about alcohol. It turned out to be kind of fun, but I really wonder if it's a good idea for people who see each other 50 hours a week to blur the line between their work and personal lives.
Some of the people wanted to go bar-hopping tomorrow night but I said I'll have to pass. I'm not really into binge drinking, and there's still the issue of driving home afterwards.
It turned out that the drinks weren't really that watered down. I only had one, but still felt it go to my head. After we said our good-byes, I pretended to walk to my car but instead ducked into a movie theater nearby. The movie I saw happened to about the place I used to live and "work". It brought up all of my old regrets about life, work, etc. to the surface. What a bummer (but a good movie anyhow).
Some of the people wanted to go bar-hopping tomorrow night but I said I'll have to pass. I'm not really into binge drinking, and there's still the issue of driving home afterwards.
It turned out that the drinks weren't really that watered down. I only had one, but still felt it go to my head. After we said our good-byes, I pretended to walk to my car but instead ducked into a movie theater nearby. The movie I saw happened to about the place I used to live and "work". It brought up all of my old regrets about life, work, etc. to the surface. What a bummer (but a good movie anyhow).
Thursday, September 23, 2010
What's the point??
I'm about to give a recount of the horrible week I had.
But first, what is the point of work, really? Is it:
a) Sitting in rush hour traffic for 2 hours a day
b) Squinting at a computer screen for 9-10 hours a day
c) Having no time for breakfast
d) Having no time for lunch
e) Eating dinner alone at 9pm in front of your laptop
f) All of the above
It's 7:30pm. Time to go home for the day. I grab my car keys and pack up the company laptop. I'm about to leave when I remember something. I quickly scribble a note onto a yellow Post-It, and I'm off. Even though the sun has set, it's still warm out. When I reach my [parent's] car, I realize I had left my keys on my desk. No worries; I'll just go back in to get it. Maybe one of the cleaning staff will have the keys. I step into the elevators and press the floor number of the office. Hmmm, it won't light up. Press again. And again. And again. A guy with a briefcase steps out of the elevator next to mine. Ugh, the elevators must be on lock-down and won't take people up. A janitor nearby explains that they don't have the office keys. I think about calling my parents to pick me up, except I had left my cell phone at home. I wander around for a bit outside before going into a hotel and asking to borrow their phone. I call home. My mom picks up. I explain that she needs bring my car keys, and preferably leave as soon as possible (it's an hour-long drive). She mutters something about being tired from working all day but agrees: we will meet in front of a restaurant in one hour.
I order dinner at a fast-food place and eat it slowly. I figure the hour must be up (I don't have a watch either). I wait outside. Maybe my mom took the wrong exit on the highway? An entire hour passes. The restaurant-goers stare at me as they walk by. Finally, I borrow someone's phone and call home, and both parents' cell phones; no one picks up. It's completely dark out and I'm starting to panic. About 20 minutes later, my mom shows randomly in the middle of the parking lot nearby. Apparently, she had stopped to ask for directions, and then had locked her keys in the car. Someone had finally given her a ride to the restaurant. I laugh hysterically.
We walk back to the hotel, and then to a gas station nearby. My mom finally manages to convince someone to take us home to get the spare keys. He was reluctant at first, but generously let us drive his car and even refused the money we tried to give him. 2 hours later, my mom and I can finally get into our cars and get home. I finally drift off to sleep after 3am.
My mom is yelling at me from downstairs to wake up. It's 8:30am and I've overslept. She slams the front door shut and leaves for work. Why didn't she wake me up earlier? Oh well, no time to think about that. I'm super late. I finally walk into work about an hour late. I mumble the usual greetings and an apology about being so late. I reach to turn on my laptop when I realize with horror that my work laptop was left at home. I run outside to clear my head. Maybe I could go back to get it and no one would notice? There's no chance of that happening, since my desk is only a few feet away from most of my superiors. I go back in and confess that I had forgotten my laptop at home. Can I borrow another laptop? Apparently not; each laptop computer can only be accessed by the employee it was formatted for. Frantic calls to the international headquarters ensue. I imagine myself being fired for this. Eventually, another laptop is set up. Overwhelming relief.
Over the weekend, one of our cars needs to get fixed. The family cars are shuffled around and I'm stuck with the family clunker for the rest of the week. The clunker does not go above 60 miles per hour without trembling furiously, which is a pretty scary experience when you're driving on the interstate. (By the way, I work out-of-state.) The driver's side window is broken, and I will have to open the whole door when I pull up to the toll booths (I need to go through 4 toll booths a day). The clunker is so low to the ground that I always feel like I'm sitting directly on the pavement when I'm doing shoulder-checks. Monday morning rolls around and I'm off to work driving the clunker. I'm running a bit late and the traffic is absolutely horrible--several miles of snail-paced driving. The cars in my lane are at a complete standstill, when the lane next to mine starts moving. I wait patiently for a large gap and try to merge into it. A sudden, loud crashing sound makes me nearly jump out of my skin. My car had hit the car in front of me. I duck my head in shame and spend a brief moment utterly hating life. Then I pull to the side and pray for little damage. There's little damage (yay!). I feel horrible, but the other driver, a stay-at-home-mom, is very nice about the whole situation. I apologize and she takes down my information. I'm anxious to get to work on time. I take the sheet with her phone number on it and we both leave.
An hour and a half later, my dad calls. Multiple times in a row. It's the insurance company calling to say I had hit someone, and she had reported suffering neck pain. WHAT, neck pain!??? A few more moments of hating my fortune/fate. The insurance company calls me. I can't answer it in front of the bosses. I call back, but the agent is out to lunch. The agent eventually gets impatient and files the claim without my input. I figure it's the end of things.
Today, my dad calls again at work. I check my phone and see 4 missed calls. He's calling about the insurance company again. They need to send someone to come take pictures of the damage on my car/clunker. I groan. My dad suggests it's because the woman is trying to get a claim for injuries as the result of our fender bender. I hang up before my dad's done talking because I don't want to seem like I'm wasting time making personal calls in front of the superiors. My dad leaves an angry voicemail about how I'm disrespectful and ungrateful, and that he's never helping me with anything again for the rest of my life.
And now here we are. I got to leave early today, meaning before 7pm. Things were starting to look up in life before this awful week and insurance nightmare. I wish school could have prepared me for how much the real world is going to suck.
I want to retire now. Work would be bearable if everything else in life was perfect. Ugh, I just can't deal with this.
But first, what is the point of work, really? Is it:
a) Sitting in rush hour traffic for 2 hours a day
b) Squinting at a computer screen for 9-10 hours a day
c) Having no time for breakfast
d) Having no time for lunch
e) Eating dinner alone at 9pm in front of your laptop
f) All of the above
It's 7:30pm. Time to go home for the day. I grab my car keys and pack up the company laptop. I'm about to leave when I remember something. I quickly scribble a note onto a yellow Post-It, and I'm off. Even though the sun has set, it's still warm out. When I reach my [parent's] car, I realize I had left my keys on my desk. No worries; I'll just go back in to get it. Maybe one of the cleaning staff will have the keys. I step into the elevators and press the floor number of the office. Hmmm, it won't light up. Press again. And again. And again. A guy with a briefcase steps out of the elevator next to mine. Ugh, the elevators must be on lock-down and won't take people up. A janitor nearby explains that they don't have the office keys. I think about calling my parents to pick me up, except I had left my cell phone at home. I wander around for a bit outside before going into a hotel and asking to borrow their phone. I call home. My mom picks up. I explain that she needs bring my car keys, and preferably leave as soon as possible (it's an hour-long drive). She mutters something about being tired from working all day but agrees: we will meet in front of a restaurant in one hour.
I order dinner at a fast-food place and eat it slowly. I figure the hour must be up (I don't have a watch either). I wait outside. Maybe my mom took the wrong exit on the highway? An entire hour passes. The restaurant-goers stare at me as they walk by. Finally, I borrow someone's phone and call home, and both parents' cell phones; no one picks up. It's completely dark out and I'm starting to panic. About 20 minutes later, my mom shows randomly in the middle of the parking lot nearby. Apparently, she had stopped to ask for directions, and then had locked her keys in the car. Someone had finally given her a ride to the restaurant. I laugh hysterically.
We walk back to the hotel, and then to a gas station nearby. My mom finally manages to convince someone to take us home to get the spare keys. He was reluctant at first, but generously let us drive his car and even refused the money we tried to give him. 2 hours later, my mom and I can finally get into our cars and get home. I finally drift off to sleep after 3am.
My mom is yelling at me from downstairs to wake up. It's 8:30am and I've overslept. She slams the front door shut and leaves for work. Why didn't she wake me up earlier? Oh well, no time to think about that. I'm super late. I finally walk into work about an hour late. I mumble the usual greetings and an apology about being so late. I reach to turn on my laptop when I realize with horror that my work laptop was left at home. I run outside to clear my head. Maybe I could go back to get it and no one would notice? There's no chance of that happening, since my desk is only a few feet away from most of my superiors. I go back in and confess that I had forgotten my laptop at home. Can I borrow another laptop? Apparently not; each laptop computer can only be accessed by the employee it was formatted for. Frantic calls to the international headquarters ensue. I imagine myself being fired for this. Eventually, another laptop is set up. Overwhelming relief.
Over the weekend, one of our cars needs to get fixed. The family cars are shuffled around and I'm stuck with the family clunker for the rest of the week. The clunker does not go above 60 miles per hour without trembling furiously, which is a pretty scary experience when you're driving on the interstate. (By the way, I work out-of-state.) The driver's side window is broken, and I will have to open the whole door when I pull up to the toll booths (I need to go through 4 toll booths a day). The clunker is so low to the ground that I always feel like I'm sitting directly on the pavement when I'm doing shoulder-checks. Monday morning rolls around and I'm off to work driving the clunker. I'm running a bit late and the traffic is absolutely horrible--several miles of snail-paced driving. The cars in my lane are at a complete standstill, when the lane next to mine starts moving. I wait patiently for a large gap and try to merge into it. A sudden, loud crashing sound makes me nearly jump out of my skin. My car had hit the car in front of me. I duck my head in shame and spend a brief moment utterly hating life. Then I pull to the side and pray for little damage. There's little damage (yay!). I feel horrible, but the other driver, a stay-at-home-mom, is very nice about the whole situation. I apologize and she takes down my information. I'm anxious to get to work on time. I take the sheet with her phone number on it and we both leave.
An hour and a half later, my dad calls. Multiple times in a row. It's the insurance company calling to say I had hit someone, and she had reported suffering neck pain. WHAT, neck pain!??? A few more moments of hating my fortune/fate. The insurance company calls me. I can't answer it in front of the bosses. I call back, but the agent is out to lunch. The agent eventually gets impatient and files the claim without my input. I figure it's the end of things.
Today, my dad calls again at work. I check my phone and see 4 missed calls. He's calling about the insurance company again. They need to send someone to come take pictures of the damage on my car/clunker. I groan. My dad suggests it's because the woman is trying to get a claim for injuries as the result of our fender bender. I hang up before my dad's done talking because I don't want to seem like I'm wasting time making personal calls in front of the superiors. My dad leaves an angry voicemail about how I'm disrespectful and ungrateful, and that he's never helping me with anything again for the rest of my life.
And now here we are. I got to leave early today, meaning before 7pm. Things were starting to look up in life before this awful week and insurance nightmare. I wish school could have prepared me for how much the real world is going to suck.
I want to retire now. Work would be bearable if everything else in life was perfect. Ugh, I just can't deal with this.
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